CAN'T WE JUST GET ALONG?

Well I'm on my lunch hour and must admit have been ignoring my blog because I now have a face book page. Some one I don't even know asked me to be their friend........so I signed up but for me the verdict is still out. I really don't know if I like it. My niece Jennifer told me I was too old! Anyway I'm posting the article below because it has so much truth to it. As women we so easily judge others and don't respect how God calls each of us in a unique way. There is not cookie cutter plan that fits us all! Enjoy.

When Sarah Palin was selected as the Republican Vice-Presidential candidate the entire country went bananas. Everyone had an opinion. What quickly became clear, though, was that those who should have enthusiastically embraced her didn’t and those who should have cared less, cared deeply.
There was the “She’s just a cheerleader for the Republicans” group who wouldn’t give her the time of day. Then there was the “She’s not qualified” group who oddly thought a candidate with fewer qualifications could take the highest position in the land. Of course we can’t overlook the “She’s not really a feminist” group who equate feminism with abortion and so on. But the ones that I found myself taking real issue with was the group of conservative women who did not support Palin; because not too many months prior to her nomination, I was part of that group.
Blogs all over the country were full of comments by women who believed that Palin should be home being a mother. It got me to thinking, have we all forgotten our basic catechism? If so, let’s go back and rediscover its teachings.
[1] Why did God make you? God made you “to know, love and serve him in this life and to be happy with Him forever in the next.” The Church goes on to teach that each person has a dignity and a purpose that is unique. We are able to study Scripture and recognize this call upon different lives but why are we often unable to recognize it within our own time on earth and as applicable to the people with whom we now live? Shouldn’t it occur to us that God lifted up a woman — beautiful, smart and prolife — to speak to this nation? What better person to choose in the culture of death than a woman who did not abort a Down’s syndrome baby?
Many women answer God’s call and eagerly embrace the work He has in store for them. For some it will be in the home and for others it will be outside of it — sometimes it is a unique but demanding combination of both. Look to the women of the Old Testament. Take Esther for example. What a beautiful story of a woman who served God and whose life was neither self-serving nor conventional. And yet, if not for her, the Jews would have been annihilated and there would be no savior. While I am not suggesting that Sarah Palin is the equivalent of Queen Esther, I am suggesting that Sarah Palin deserved to answer God’s call upon her life as she discerned it — and to second guess how Sarah and Todd felt they ought to serve their marriage, their family, their country, and their calling was not ours to question.
Sarah is still taking hits even after the election has passed. Now there are those criticizing her for not helping her husband’s career instead of spending her energy on her own career. Again, back to the catechism, Sarah is doing what she has been called to do. Like any other family, the Palins have had to discern what works for them. Why are so many political entities still intent on bringing Sarah down? Is she that much of a threat to different groups — at both ends of the spectrum?
There is now a book written by a woman telling other women that they ought to support their husbands’ careers instead of their own. And of course that should be true to the extent that it is how God has called each woman to do that to the best of her ability within her marriage and regardless of how she, too, is called. The irony, though, is almost absurd. Here is a woman pursuing her own career but telling other women to build up their husband’s careers.
Let’s discuss a wife’s duty to further her own husband’s career instead of her own. From my own experience, the only work I could do to help my husband’s career was to be supportive in family decisions to move and to provide a soft shoulder after he had a hard day. I had no way of helping him climb the ladder in his pharmacy career. After all, I know nothing of the medical field or of pharmacy itself and my confidence has been placed in my husband knowing his own goals and ambitions and pursuing them as he sees fit. This doesn’t downplay my role but simply is a realistic portrayal of how I am able to help my husband. Certainly other women have gifts and talents that can, and do, benefit their husbands’ careers in a more measureable way; but the notion that all women are able to directly affect their husband’s careers isn’t realistic.
Why is it that women are so critical of other women? Why don’t women help each other and just play nice in the sandbox? Although I don’t claim to have the answers because I am neither a psychologist nor a social worker, I can make a confession that may call for others to contemplate.
Before I confess, I’ll give a little background information. I am one of six children, with the youngest two in our family being adopted from Korea. My mother stayed home and was very happy being a homemaker and mother. The role of father and mother were very traditional with the typical division of chores: girls doing dishes, cooking and cleaning in the home and boys mowing the lawn, shoveling snow, and taking out the garbage. When it was time for me to discern my own life, I married a man whom I knew would be able to support a family without me having to work. I have had many pregnancies with three live births and have loved staying home and taking care of the babies.
However, being an extrovert, I was always putting together women’s Bible studies, visiting friends, trying home businesses, and homeschooling. During this time I had a group of friends that were Catholic moms just like me. We all nursed our children — at least till they were two — did natural childbirth, homeschooled, used NFP and were all going to have large families. These are all very good things; however, we became snobs. Those more “modern” moms who bottle fed, worked, or sent their kids to school were just not as good as we were. I suppose we didn’t see ourselves this way but that was reality. And we didn’t say it as much as imply it in our blogs, our attitudes, and the ways in which we purposely chose to present ourselves to the world — i.e., other mothers.
Now here’s my confession. I still clung to this way of thinking for some time. In fact, long after I left that circle of acquaintances and had put my children in a parochial school, I was still convinced that I was right in the way things “should be.” I don’t have a big family — I know it is by God’s design but still it wasn’t how I had envisioned things — and I have started a writing career. It was this writing career that allowed me to get my head on straight about a few things and maybe offer this treatise for Catholic women everywhere.
I was researching for the [2] All Things Girl, Girls Rock book when I came to understand that I was being very narrow minded in my views on women. I had read JP II’s “Letter to Women” in the past but rereading it and writing about it opened my eyes to how judgmental I had been all those years. I loved learning that St. Gianna was a working mother. She was a doctor. Did I want to judge her and say she should’ve stayed home with her children? No! I could see she was answering God’s call upon her life.
I began to understand — in my heart not just in my head — that women come from all different situations. In my own case, all my grandiose ideas of having a large family and homeschooling and being the perfect Catholic mother was changed by circumstances out of my control. And as is probably always the case, as the scales were removed from my eyes, I was on-fire to share what JPII taught about feminine genius.
We never know another person’s heart and most certainly can scarcely know her circumstances from the very limited view we have of things. We don’t know why some women choose to work or why others may have circumstances in which they must work, but we do know that we are obligated to be good and kind and supportive to every woman as she seeks to serve God.
Women are so beautiful and have magnificent gifts. God calls each of us to know, love and serve Him in different and individual ways. Ladies, let’s embrace each other and support each others’ calls from God, not criticize and belittle what other women do. It seems ever more critical that we recognize that God has asked something different for every woman and that what is right for me is not right for you in the day-to-day of life but that what is always right is love for each other.
Article printed from Today’s Catholic Woman: http://woman.catholicexchange.com