I MISS YOU DAD:)
I'm so thankful for my mother's faithfulness...was is easy? NO! Was it hard? Extremely! But God honored her faithfulness. I know the closeness that we share as siblings and the faith we share is the result of my mom's faithfulness to her marriage and her family. We never missed a Sunday mass! She always had dinner on the table and kept a clean house. That all mattered! Thank you mom.
My dad had a hard life. As his daughter is was very hard. It was hard to know people made fun of him. It was hard that I had a father who didn't work or couldn't come to any of our school events. It was hard to have a father that I wasn't proud of but very embarrassed with at times. Back then we didn't have any counseling or insight to deal with my dad. It was extremely hard and crazy at times but we all survived and so much of that I credit to the faith my mom handed down to us.
Though life was hard with my dad I also learned allot. I would not be the person I am or have learned the lessons I have learned in life. The last two and a half years of my dad's life was a real gift to me. He became my "hands on Jesus". I knew in ministering to him I was ministering to Jesus. I also felt very connected to my mom while caring for him. He would even slip and call me Jean:) When I asked him why he said because I reminded him of her. What a wonderful compliment! I look forward to the day when I will be reunited with them in Heaven! Below is the Eulogy I gave at this funeral that I am re posting.
Life is filled with joys and sorrows. Our family had a lot of sorrow due to my father’s mental illness. It robbed our family of so much, but God did not forsake us or him. He had a wonderful wife who stood by him. Our mother, Jean,wasn't one to preach the gospel, she did the harder thing, she lived it daily. She would often say, “I married for better or worse.” Through faith she knew God had created my father and respected the soul within him. Many times we would be frustrated or upset with my dad but she would always say, “But he’s a person.” She could separate the illness from the man and taught us to do the same. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, her first concern was my father. She asked, “What will happen to Tom?” Both of my sisters met their future husbands the year after my mother died. I often wondered why mom had forgotten me. I even felt a little betrayed. But now I know our Lord, the Blessed Mother and my mother were in cahoots together! They had a special plan in store for me.
In the spring of 1996, my father was near death’s door. They didn't expect him to live. Jennifer, my niece, and I met the priest who gave him the Sacrament of the Sick. He had known my dad for 15 years. I’ll never forget what he said to me, “Your dad was my friend. He always treated me well.” I also met his Doctor who felt little should be done for him because my father had no quality of life. I was very offended by his attitude. I told him he had no right to make that judgment and that it was very dangerous when we humans start judging and playing God my measuring one’s quality of life.
My dad was courageous and a fighter. He fought to stay alive. He went from being in a semi-comma one visit to sitting in a chair a week later. He asked me if he could come home. I responded, “Yes, when you can walk.” (Never thinking he would again.) When I returned 4 days later I got off the elevator to find my dad holding on to the railing walking down the hall!
My dad was more emotionally in touch and more of a father to us these past two-and-half years. He would often have tears in his eyes when we visited or in the car on his way home for the weekend. When I would ask him why, he would simply say, “I’m happy.
He went to see Kevin’s new house and he liked it so much he didn’t want to go home to “our old house.” (But Rhonda didn’t have a bed for him!) He told Kevin that he had done well for himself! He enjoyed going to Linda and Chuck’s house and always talked about the one beer I allowed Chuck to give him.
He would remember the details of our lives and often brag to the staff at the hospital, especially when two grandsons were named after him: Aaron Thomas and Matthew Thomas.
He would ask me often why I wasn't married and said it wasn't good for me to be alone. I would respond, “God loves you dad and right now he wants me to be here for you.” My dad would smile. But I would remind him that once he got to heaven, it was his job to pray for a husband for me. I will always treasure the memories’ of going to mass with him at the VA Hospital two times last Spring and receiving the Eucharist with him—all his idea!
Dad became buddies with Bridgett my dog. I soon found out why—my dad would get up in the night for a snack when he couldn't sleep and Bridgett would follow for “her snack.” One night he bragged that he had given her 3 bananas and a package of fig newtons. He was also upset with me when I got Bridgett fixed saying. “She can’t be a Catholic dog is she is fixed.”
My dad was very generous always wanting me to bring goodies for the staff and other patients. My dad was dearly loved by the staff. He had a wonderful Irish sense of humor. Every time we would visit at least one or two aides would say, “You know, your dad is my favorite.”
These past months he was often in pain. During his last visit home in August he said to me, “This is no kind of life.” That’s the one and only time I ever heard him complain about his life. After all, he use to tell me he was never going to die because he was bionic.
This is his time of glory. He will be reunited with my mother in heaven. What a glorious reunion that will be. My mom will see the soul she believed in and always respected.
I want to thank all those who were good to my dad: especially the Nova Palmer Family; the Duane and Nancy Rudy family; the Bradley’s; my grandma Burns for fighting for him; my grandpa for helping us out financially when we had nothing; my Uncle Dick for always speaking well of him and telling us stories of his youth; my Aunt Rosie, Uncle Dave, Matt and Jamie for treating him with kindness and respect; my mom’s brothers and sisters and their families; my coworkers and their support during these past two years. I especially want to thank my siblings and their families who were always there for me and dad when I brought him home. I want to thank Brenda for coming over early in the morning when I couldn't get dad out of the bath tub. I want to thank my nieces and nephews, who loved Pa Pa, and were always anticipating his needs and offering him help. I’ll never forget the time when everyone was over for dinner and my dad said, “It’s nice to be wanted.”
All those who were kind to my dad—you will not be forgotten, for when we are kind to the mentally ill, or the less fortunate we are being kind to Christ Himself. Thank you! My mom thanks you!
Comments