KAREN'S FINAL UPDATE ON ANNETTE: PART III

Early Friday morning, Judy realized Annette’s breathing patterns were changing so she woke me up and we started to pray. We played all the songs that Annette had picked out for her funeral, and those we didn’t have recorded, we sang for her. I started thinking of people she would see in heaven, and got very excited for her!! (St. Francis, St. Clare, St. Teresa, Annette’s parents, etc.) We kept encouraging her and thanking her for her unselfish “yes” to the Lord. This probably went on for over an hour, but it seemed like an instant to us! I popped in the Emmanuel cassette that had brought so much comfort to Annette in the last month. Sometime during “Holy is the Lord” she took her last breath… It was peaceful and quick. The look on her face was beautiful at that moment. Her eyes, which had been cloudy and unable to focus – were fixed in a gaze on something wonderful.  Her left eye was crystal clear and we saw the “light” in it again! She had a slight smile on her face – just a look of joyful satisfaction, in my opinion.

When Joyce saw Annette’s face, she said “Oh Annette! Look at you! You’re beautiful! You’re smiling! Look at her you guys! She made it! She made it! “ Joyce jumped up and down with excitement next to Annette’s bed, and her reaction filled the room with such joy! I can’t really do it justice on paper. 

It was Annette’s desire that people come in and keep a little “vigil” in the room after she died. A friend’s family had done this earlier, and it brought much comfort to everyone involved. A group of friends & family sang, prayed and cried together over the course of the next few hours, and Fr. Ron celebrated Mass in another part of the house. During that time, I slipped back into the bedroom with Annette, and knelt down across from Judy, who never left Annette’s bedside. I looked at Judy, and told her that our job was done. We were faithful to our friend to the end. It was a bittersweet accomplishment. We looked at each other, we looked at Annette, and then we wept… Tears of sadness, tears of relief, tears of joy…

One of Annette’s requests to Joyce and Judy was that before the Coronor came to take her body away, they would dance around her bed to the song “Celebration” by Kool and the Gang. We did honor her request, and I have pictures on Facebook for anyone interested! It was a very joyful & light-hearted celebration – just as she wanted.

There were 3 separate viewings for Annette at her church, 2 hours each – and I believe over 1200 people came through the line to pay their respects to the family over the course of 2 days. The funeral was packed – around 650 people estimated! Annette had asked two of her nieces over the July 4th weekend, if they would be willing to sing at her funeral. Catherine said yes, and Elizabeth said she didn’t think so – as it would be too emotional. However, both girls did sing for their Aunt Annette – and Elizabeth also provided the piano accompaniment! I was so proud of both of them! (Just a little side note: Catherine had plans to audition for American Idol after a 4 year wait… As it turned out, the auditions were the day of Annette’s funeral. Let’s say a prayer that her dream to sing gets fulfilled in another way because of her faithfulness to Annette and to the Lord!)

The music was beautifully done. Annette chose “I Can Only Imagine” by Mercy Me, “Press On” by Bob Filiorama, “Fly to Jesus” by Chris Rice, “Abba Father” by Shaun Groves, and of course the “Ave Maria.” In addition, the music group she loved so much provided several wonderful songs for the Mass. Annette’s spiritual director, Fr. Mark gave a wonderful homily that showed how much he knew and loved Annette. Her youngest Rebekah joined her cousins on one of the songs – it was an amazing witness to her strong faith! Son Paul paid tribute to his mom with a very moving speech at the end of the service. Judy recorded audio of these things and I will try to transcribe them for you if you’re interested in reading them later on. Her brother Fr. Ron, was the Celebrant… There were actually about 5-6 priests on the altar I think… Overall, it was a joyful celebration of Annette’s life.

In true “northern” fashion, the ladies of the parish had a wonderful luncheon after the Mass. I’m sure they fed well over 300 people, although I’ve not confirmed any of my statistics at the time of this publication.  I needed to get on the road back to Minnesota then, so I did not go to the cemetery later on. Judy said it was a very nice service, however – but I’ll leave it to her to fill you in on those details. 

Annette’s journey here on earth has come to an end. I miss hearing her voice, I miss her smile, and I miss her real presence. I’d like to get a glimpse of her – to see what she looks like and see how she’s spending her time in eternity… I know in my head what it’s supposed to be like – but I’d love some solid confirmation on a few things just the same!

I didn’t know Judy or Joyce before this. It’s been said the best way to get to know someone is to serve with them. I consider it a privilege to have served with both of these women, and so many more people in the process of caring for Annette. We were a TEAM – her “companions.” We relied on each other for so much! Lasting relationships were formed, and I think Annette really likes that. 

So many are grieving her loss and absence right now – even those who didn’t know her! Annette was always talking to us about how important relationships are. She said that God needs us to accomplish His work. She said we are all part of something bigger – and that we wouldn’t realize the magnitude of it until God chose to reveal it to us. She encouraged us over and over again to say “yes” to God in little ways – we don’t have to give our lives or experience the pain of cancer. Our “yes” could be to spend time with our children when we’d rather be doing something else, to smile at someone when we don’t feel like it, etc.

She was so grateful for everything – especially for the prayers offered on her behalf. She said she will never stop interceding for us in heaven. I hope this brings you some consolation. I’ve “hit her up” with a few requests already, and it appears to be working!!! 

If your life has been touched by Annette in some way, I would encourage you to share your story with her sister Joyce. (Send it in a word document attachment to joycexian@yahoo.com.) She and Annette had talked about writing a book together after Annette initially reversed her cancer a few years ago. However, they both felt it wasn't the right time; that there would be more to write if they waited. Sure enough, Annette’s cancer returned and this last year has been the most incredible journey ever, filled with spiritual blessings, outpouring of love from others, and saying yes to God in ways they could never before imagine!

In praying about the book, and how it should be put together, it occurred to Joyce that it would be great to have a collection of short stories on how Annette/her journey has impacted people’s lives. When entertaining titles for the book, the phrase “Suck it up and Save a Soul” rolled out of Joyce’s mouth one day when she saw an opportunity for someone to offer up a suffering for someone else. (When Annette shared this idea with us recently, we roared with laughter!) However, after thinking about it, we agreed with Joyce that this might actually be a VERY appropriate title for the book since Annette was all about redemptive suffering - even when it meant surrendering everything. It’s a perfect title! It’s EXACTLY what she’d be telling each of us to do every day if she were still here.